i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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