I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
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