Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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