chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Mom said you looked used
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize