Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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