found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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