you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
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