so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize