I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
My hand turned me down
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
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