I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
