i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
