So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
