I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
Randomize
