Whod you bang
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Less talking, more tequila
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
