I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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