You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
How dare you question the sanctity of Chocolate-and-Porn day
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Staff meetings will be awkward since my boss and I both did the new intern
Maybe she doesn’t know you did him
Oh she definitely knows - it was a threesome
Please tell me you’re not taking life advice from porn scripts again
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