thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
