We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
Randomize
