Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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