I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Randomize