Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'd have to have a ring. Like I don't want to be called "the ex girlfriend that shit on me"
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
