just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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