Saw a pregnant woman get a lap dance last night. I love the south.
I wish i was in the wii world.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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