If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize