i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
You've changed since you got that strap on
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize