i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Randomize
