haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
