Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
