thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize
