once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Remember that time I sent you a 5lb bag of gummie bears?
Like it was yesterday.
Apparently I had it on auto deliver. So whoever is at your apt is gonna gen an interesting delivery...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
