he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
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