i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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