Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
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