I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
what day is it and did you see me today?
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
Randomize
