thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I took shots of absinthe with my mom just now. Except awful things.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
Randomize