I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
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