Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
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