Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just watched a girl fall down the stair and be to drunk to get up. The only stair in the bar. It's like watching a turtle on it's back.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
