He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
