she was so not down for the gang bang
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize