I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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