I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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