Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
