i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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