Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
