don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
Randomize
