Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
