And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
