If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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