also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
