He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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