We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Randomize
