yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
Randomize
