yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
Randomize
