butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Randomize
