woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
