White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
