The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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